In response to Daves Blog comment on what he will teach my child on Feb. 3....let me tell you what will really go on that day.

3pm Dave and Emily are so excited to watch Ella
3:30pm Ella poops, Dave and Emily have first major fight over who will change diaper.
3:35 Emily wins and Dave has to change the diaper....
3:36 Dave discovers the Ella has Exploded out of the diaper and has pooped on her neck
3:37-4:00pm Dave, with the help of Emily, changes Ellas entire outfit, bathes her and throws dirty outfit in Kitchen trash.
4:15pm Dave discovers that Kitchen now smells like a toxic waste dump and takes out trash.
4:30 Daves neighbors call and complain that there is horrible smell coming out of the garage.
4:35 Dave takes trash to local dump....
5:00pm Dave and Emily feed Ella
5:15pm Ella spits pureed Green Beans all over Dave, spits up on Emily and farts.
5:30 Dave takes Shower, Emily sponges off.....
5:35 Emily changes diaper
5:37 Diaper on backwards, try again
5:40 attempt again to feed Ella,
6:00 play with Ella
7:00pm Give Ella a bath
7:30 Decide that bath time was not a good idea and Dave sends Emily to Walmart to buy sponge mop.
8:00 Emily returns to mop up the 8 inches of water on the floor in the bathroom
8:30 attempt to feed Ella, again.
9:00pm try to rock Ella to sleep
9:30 Cops show up to ask Dave and Emily if there is a problem with the child.
9:35 Cop attempts to rock Ella to sleep
9:40 Elderly women next door knocks on door to ask if there is a problem as she is being kept awake by screaming child.
9:45 Elderly women attempts to rock Ella to sleep
9:50pm Cop and Elderly women sing duet to try and coax Ella to sleep
9:55 Another Cop shows up and asks if there is a party going on
9:56 Other Cop joins in on the duet (now a trio)
10:00pm Mike and Paula arrive and take the now poor, traumatized child
10:01 Ella is sleeping soundly in Paulas arm,
10:05 Mike and Paula wonder what Dave and Emily did all night.
10:30 Dave and Emily decide that they will never watch the baby again...Have several Shreks.