Controlled Chaos

Part 1
So last night was a quite night. Mike and I stayed home and watched The Stepford Wives, Don't waste your time on that one. A friend of ours came over with his 5 month old daughter, what a cutie. We would love to have one. We almost thought we might have been last week, but mother nature proved us wrong 3 days late.

So today I was searching underneath my bathroom cabinet for something and ended up cleaning out the whole thing. Here is the problem, I now have stuff all over the bathroom floor in little piles that I am not sure what to do with. I know that no women really needs 20 things of eyeshadow, but I just can't seem to throw them away. I might need them someday!! So here I am off to Walmart to buy some plastic containers so that my mess is at least contained.

Part 2

Tonight we picked up my stepson and ate dinner at Applebees. It was kinda funny, I ran into an old boyfriend there with his new wife and baby. That was a little strange, I haven't seen the guy in 7 years and now here he is with the girl he cheated on me with and their child. Got home and Greg opened his birthday gift, Halo 2.

So now, here I am, enjoying a glass of wine and wondering about the future. Lately I have been thinking about the events in ones lifes and how it affects them. I guess this is all coming about because of the recent almost pregnant thing. Things were always kind of crazy in my life but the one event that seems to have changed everything is when my first husband died. (More on that in a later entry.) Where do I see myself in 5 years, 10years, the future. I was just reading a post on a friends blog that had to do with forever. It is hard to think that something will last forever, I mean the first time I let myself completly fall in love, which I thought would be forever, my life came crashing down on me when forever was brought to a grinding halt the day that Gary died.

I think about it from time to time, where would I be right now if he hadn't died? Would I be living in a different country? He was from Canada and was pilot. His dream was to fly for Fed-ex or Cafe Pacific(sp?). During 9/11, I would have been living right outside of Washington DC, in the middle of the sniper shootings. Was it meant to be that he died before we ever moved? It is so hard to think that God would do that to save someone else. It makes me think, what does he have in store for me? Why make me suffer through something like that, he must have something special in mind.